Veronica Tonay, Ph.D.

Basic Rights in a Relationship

This list is adapted from the excellent book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship. It applies to all kinds of relationships, not just the romantic kind.

The right to goodwill from the other.

The right to emotional support.

The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy.

The right to have your own view, even if your mate has a different view.

The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.

The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes or comments you find offensive.

The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.

The right to live free from accusation and blame.

The right to live free from criticism and judgment.

The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect.

The right to encouragement.

The right to live free from emotional and physical threat.

The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage.

The right to be called by no name that devalues you.

The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.


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